Tall apartment blocks in cities: IELTS Task 2 essay #1, band 6.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
302 words. Marked by Axiom on 20 October 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2302 words
The best way to provide enough homes in large cities is to build tall apartment blocks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
There is a view that building hige-rise aparment blocks is the most effective approach to provide sufficient homes in major cities. Although I agree that tall aparment blocks can be a promising policy in this regard,
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedI also believe that houses should be considered as one of the beneficial alternatives, meaning the given statement is not the best.
The correct form is 'given statement is not the best', the original sentence was a bit unclear.
As the population of the world grows, there will be more demand for housing developments. For example, in Pekin, which is the most populated cities of China, governing bodies have been building such apartments to ensure that people have not any housing-related issues.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn a rapidly developing world, the population rate is ever-increasing, particularly in metropolitan areas.
The correct term is 'developing' world, as in the process of development.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn this case, the focus on constructing more high-rise apartment blocks can help the relevant authorities meet people's accommodation needs in large cities.
The phrase 'responsible bodies' is not clear, 'the relevant authorities' is more precise.
Lexical resource
RevisedIn other words, the more tall apartments there are, the fewer accommodation problems will arise.
The original sentence was awkward and unclear, the revision provides a more clear and concise version.
In one-and two-storey houses, more than 7-8 people can reside, potentially being a practical initiative as high-rise apartments. Take the USA an example, where both native and non-native people often opt for living such living places. What is more, aside from living, people have a chance to pursue gardening, as most houses have a garden.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedHowever, I firmly contend that not only do tall apartment blocks assist in providing homes in developed urban settings, but houses can also be an effective approach.
The sentence was a bit confusing, a more clear and direct approach was used in the revision.
Lexical resource
RevisedThis can also contradict the widespread belief that city dwellers do not engage in agriculture.
The word 'contradict' was used incorrectly in the original sentence, the correct form is 'contradict'.
Lexical resource
RevisedTo sum up, while high apartment blocks can provide living spaces for those who live in large cities, it does not mean they are the best option in this respect.
The phrase 'supply livings are for' is not correct, the right phrase is 'provide living spaces'.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedSpecifically, I assert that there is another alternative that can be equally effective.
The phrase 'can be one of the effective ways' is not correct, the right phrase is 'can be equally effective'.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the flow of ideas and the use of cohesive devices.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of your ideas.
- Make sure that each paragraph has a clear central topic.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIn a rapidly developing world, the population rate is ever-increasing, particularly in metropolitan areas.
The correct term is 'developing' world, as in the process of development.
RevisedIn this case, the focus on constructing more high-rise apartment blocks can help the relevant authorities meet people's accommodation needs in large cities.
The phrase 'responsible bodies' is not clear, 'the relevant authorities' is more precise.
RevisedHowever, I firmly contend that not only do tall apartment blocks assist in providing homes in developed urban settings, but houses can also be an effective approach.
The sentence was a bit confusing, a more clear and direct approach was used in the revision.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of incorrect verb forms and subject-verb agreement.
Sentence revisions 2
RevisedI also believe that houses should be considered as one of the beneficial alternatives, meaning the given statement is not the best.
The correct form is 'given statement is not the best', the original sentence was a bit unclear.
RevisedSpecifically, I assert that there is another alternative that can be equally effective.
The phrase 'can be one of the effective ways' is not correct, the right phrase is 'can be equally effective'.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIn other words, the more tall apartments there are, the fewer accommodation problems will arise.
The original sentence was awkward and unclear, the revision provides a more clear and concise version.
RevisedThis can also contradict the widespread belief that city dwellers do not engage in agriculture.
The word 'contradict' was used incorrectly in the original sentence, the correct form is 'contradict'.
RevisedTo sum up, while high apartment blocks can provide living spaces for those who live in large cities, it does not mean they are the best option in this respect.
The phrase 'supply livings are for' is not correct, the right phrase is 'provide living spaces'.
Task response
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the conclusion could be stronger.
Suggestions
- Make sure your conclusion is clear and concise.
- Restate your position and summarize your main points in the conclusion.
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