Rich and poor countries: IELTS Task 2 essay #1, band 6.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
329 words. Marked by Axiom on 18 September 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2329 words
Rich countries are getting richer while poor countries are getting poorer. What is the cause of this? What could be done to solve this problem?
Lexical resource
RevisedWealth inequality among countries is becoming increasingly common.
The revised sentence provides a more accurate and natural collocation, improving the overall quality of the writing.
The main countributors of this are outdated technologies and inadequate education, however, there are possible solutions for this such as providing young people with education and achieving a balance between rural and urban areas.
If countries invest less money in education, young people are less likely to access cutting-edge technologies and information, decreasing and slowing the development of the countries. As a result, this country is getting more and more developed.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThe US, for example, allocates money to education and provides adequate necessities for education, which contributes to the country's development.
The revised sentence corrects the grammatical error and improves the overall clarity and quality of the writing.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedWhile Afghanistan invests much less money in education, such as in schools and universities, the country is getting poorer and poorer.
The revised sentence corrects the grammatical error and improves the overall clarity and quality of the writing.
If countries mainly focus on developing the urban areas, they may also encounter difficulties with keeping balanced other rural areas, slowing the progress of the development. For example, if countries priortize only public services in urban areas such as public transport, health services, and education, they less likely achieve a balance and keep the progress consistently to get richer.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedAnother major cause of countries getting poorer is imbalanced city development.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more direct connection to the previous point, improving the overall cohesion of the essay.
For one. providing young generation with modern technologies can be a solution for online education, which has become increasingly popular among young people, because children may access online lessons by foreign professional teachers. Not only may cutting-edge technologies provide young people with international professionals, but it may also access them to use social media, which is becoming the best way to access education through videos, lectures, and tests. For second, achieving a balance between rural and urban areas. If countries provide rural areas with high-quality services, it may also countribute the country to become richer with balanced development.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThere are possible solutions to overcome these issues.
The revised sentence provides a more direct and clear transition to the next point, improving the overall cohesion of the essay.
In conclusion, the main causes of this are poor education systems and less imbalanced development. To overcome these problems, viable solutioms are enabling children to better education and keeping the
development balanced.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the progression of ideas a bit difficult to follow. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and providing a clear final thought.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and provide a clear final thought.
Sentence revisions 2
RevisedAnother major cause of countries getting poorer is imbalanced city development.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more direct connection to the previous point, improving the overall cohesion of the essay.
RevisedThere are possible solutions to overcome these issues.
The revised sentence provides a more direct and clear transition to the next point, improving the overall cohesion of the essay.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a variety of complex structures and there are few grammatical errors. The essay uses a variety of complex grammatical structures with a high level of accuracy. However, there are a few minor errors that could be polished for a more professional tone. Additionally, the use of more formal language could enhance the overall quality of the essay.
Sentence revisions 2
RevisedThe US, for example, allocates money to education and provides adequate necessities for education, which contributes to the country's development.
The revised sentence corrects the grammatical error and improves the overall clarity and quality of the writing.
RevisedWhile Afghanistan invests much less money in education, such as in schools and universities, the country is getting poorer and poorer.
The revised sentence corrects the grammatical error and improves the overall clarity and quality of the writing.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language used effectively. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which could be refined for better clarity and impact. Additionally, the use of more formal language throughout the essay would enhance the overall quality.
Sentence revisions 2
RevisedWealth inequality among countries is becoming increasingly common.
The revised sentence provides a more accurate and natural collocation, improving the overall quality of the writing.
RevisedIf countries invest less money in education, young people are less likely to access cutting-edge technologies and information, thereby hindering the country's development.
The revised sentence provides a more accurate and clear connection between the two parts of the sentence, improving the overall quality of the writing.
Task response
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout the response. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons behind the wealth inequality among countries and suggesting potential solutions. A clear and well-developed position is presented throughout the response, with relevant examples used to support the arguments. However, the essay could benefit from a more detailed exploration of the solutions and a stronger conclusion that summarizes the main points and provides a clear final thought.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully develop your arguments and provide detailed explanations and examples to support your points.
- Strengthen your conclusion by summarizing the main points and providing a clear final thought.
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