Researching family history: IELTS Task 2 essay #2, band 6.5

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

246 words. Marked by Axiom on 5 October 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

Task 2246 words

In some parts of the world, it is becoming popular to research the history of one's own family. Why might people want to do this? Is it a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, researching one's family history is becoming increasingly popular in various parts of the world. People hold differing opinions on this topic while it can be beneficial in some instanses, there are situations where it might have the opposite effect.

Grammar & accuracy
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RevisedWhile people hold differing opinions on this topic and it can be beneficial in some instances, there are also situations where it might have the opposite effect.
The revised sentence corrects the spelling error and improves the sentence structure for better clarity.

First of all, let us consider the idea that studying family history is a worthwhile endeavor. The benefit of this is that a person has the opportunity to learn what kind of people their ancestors were and what life challenges they endure for instance if a grandfather fought in the Second World War and was awarded several medals for his bravery, his grandchildren can read about this and feel proud.

Lexical resource
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RevisedThe advantage of this is that individuals can learn about the character of their ancestors and the challenges they faced, for example, if a grandfather fought in the Second World War and was awarded numerous medals for his bravery, his grandchildren can take pride in this.
The revised sentence provides a more natural and clear expression of the idea.

On the other hand, there can be some negative sides to this trend. Sometimes, people might discover secrets or bad things about their ancestors that they didnot want to know. For example, learning that a family member was a criminal or treated others badly in the past can cause sadness and shame. Furthermore, researching family history can take a lot of time and money, which some people might feel is a waste of resources that could be spent on their present life.

Coherence & cohesion
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RevisedConversely, this trend may also have some negative aspects.
The revised sentence provides a smoother transition to the contrasting point.
Coherence & cohesion
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RevisedOccasionally, people might uncover unwelcome secrets or negative actions of their ancestors.
The revised sentence provides a more formal and precise expression of the idea.
Lexical resource
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RevisedMoreover, the process of researching family history can be time and cost-intensive, which some individuals may perceive as a misallocation of resources that could be better utilized in their current lives.
The revised sentence provides a more formal and academic tone.

In conclusion, researching family history has both positive and negative sides. while it can bring feelings of pride and help people connect with their past, it can also reveal uncomfortable truths and cost too much time. I believe it is a positive development because knowing where we come from help us understand ourselves better.

Grammar & accuracy
Close revision note
RevisedIn conclusion, researching family history has both positive and negative aspects. While it can evoke feelings of pride and help people connect with their past, it can also uncover uncomfortable truths and be a time-consuming endeavor.
The revised sentence corrects the run-on sentence and improves the clarity and flow of the idea.
Lexical resource
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RevisedI posit that it is a positive progress as understanding our roots enables us to have a better self-awareness.
The revised sentence provides a more formal and academic tone.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.

Suggestions

Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
Make sure that each paragraph has a clear central topic.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedConversely, this trend may also have some negative aspects.
The revised sentence provides a smoother transition to the contrasting point.
RevisedOccasionally, people might uncover unwelcome secrets or negative actions of their ancestors.
The revised sentence provides a more formal and precise expression of the idea.
RevisedIn conclusion, the pursuit of researching family history can yield both beneficial and detrimental outcomes.
The revised sentence provides a more formal and academic tone for the conclusion.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there is room for improvement in terms of grammatical range and accuracy.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedWhile people hold differing opinions on this topic and it can be beneficial in some instances, there are also situations where it might have the opposite effect.
The revised sentence corrects the spelling error and improves the sentence structure for better clarity.
RevisedThe benefit of this opportunity is that a person can learn about the character of their ancestors and the challenges they endured; for instance, if a grandfather fought in the Second World War and was awarded several medals for his bravery, his grandchildren can take pride in this.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward phrasing and improves the clarity and flow of the idea.
RevisedIn conclusion, researching family history has both positive and negative aspects. While it can evoke feelings of pride and help people connect with their past, it can also uncover uncomfortable truths and be a time-consuming endeavor.
The revised sentence corrects the run-on sentence and improves the clarity and flow of the idea.

Lexical resource

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedThe advantage of this is that individuals can learn about the character of their ancestors and the challenges they faced, for example, if a grandfather fought in the Second World War and was awarded numerous medals for his bravery, his grandchildren can take pride in this.
The revised sentence provides a more natural and clear expression of the idea.
RevisedMoreover, the process of researching family history can be time and cost-intensive, which some individuals may perceive as a misallocation of resources that could be better utilized in their current lives.
The revised sentence provides a more formal and academic tone.
RevisedI posit that it is a positive progress as understanding our roots enables us to have a better self-awareness.
The revised sentence provides a more formal and academic tone.

Task response

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples.

Suggestions

Try to develop your arguments more fully and support them with specific examples.

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