Museums showing only local artists: IELTS Task 2 essay #2, band 7.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
311 words. Marked by Axiom on 30 September 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2311 words
Many people think that museums and galleries should only show work from local artists rather than work from other countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Advocates of local art may argue that showing local artworks in museums and art galleries can preserve cultural identity. Another compelling reason to show domestic artists’ works may be supporting local artists and domestic art industry. Focusing exclusively on domestic art can provide great motivation for local artists so that they can feel sense of pride and approach their works responsibly. There might be many people who have artistic talent but they have not discovered yet due to lack of support for national art.
Lexical resource
RevisedArt is considered an appealing way of showcasing national culture to the world.
The revised sentence provides a more natural and accurate expression of the idea.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn other words, local artworks play a crucial role in attracting tourists and sparking their interest in national art, as they often showcase authentic and handmade artworks by local artists.
The revised sentence provides a smoother transition and more precise explanation of the role of local artworks in attracting tourists.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedTherefore, focusing on domestic art can serve as a stepping stone for individuals to uncover their hidden talents.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more direct explanation of the idea.
Lexical resource
RevisedIn this regard, focusing on local artworks can yield several benefits.
The revised sentence provides a more precise and effective word choice.
However, dismissing the advantageous aspects of displaying works from other countries can be superficial. Showing international artworks in museums and galleries can enable people broaden their cultural understanding. In this regard, exhibiting international artworks can yield compelling result for both local artists and visitors.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedExhibiting global artistic works can enhance the cultural interpretations of local people and allow them to see the art from different angles.
The word 'angles' was a typographical error and should be corrected.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedAnother merit of showing works from other countries is that it enables people to make comparisons between local and international artworks.
The phrase 'make comparison' should be pluralized to be grammatically correct.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThis could also foster competition among local artists, encouraging them to create high-quality artworks that can compete with international counterparts.
The revised sentence provides a more precise and clear explanation of the idea.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedFor example, the Louvre, one of the most popular museums in the world, displays both national and international artistic works.
The proper noun 'Louvre' should be capitalized and a comma should be used after 'world' for correct punctuation.
Lexical resource
RevisedIn conclusion, while local displays may offer undeniable benefits, dismissing the role of international artworks can be an oversimplification, as they can enhance cultural understanding and facilitate comparisons.
The revised sentence provides a more natural and accurate expression of the idea.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
- Make sure that your ideas are fully developed and explained.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIn other words, local artworks play a crucial role in attracting tourists and sparking their interest in national art, as they often showcase authentic and handmade artworks by local artists.
The revised sentence provides a smoother transition and more precise explanation of the role of local artworks in attracting tourists.
RevisedTherefore, focusing on domestic art can serve as a stepping stone for individuals to uncover their hidden talents.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more direct explanation of the idea.
RevisedThis could also foster competition among local artists, encouraging them to create high-quality artworks that can compete with international counterparts.
The revised sentence provides a more precise and clear explanation of the idea.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. There are a few minor errors, but they do not impede communication.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedExhibiting global artistic works can enhance the cultural interpretations of local people and allow them to see the art from different angles.
The word 'angles' was a typographical error and should be corrected.
RevisedAnother merit of showing works from other countries is that it enables people to make comparisons between local and international artworks.
The phrase 'make comparison' should be pluralized to be grammatically correct.
RevisedFor example, the Louvre, one of the most popular museums in the world, displays both national and international artistic works.
The proper noun 'Louvre' should be capitalized and a comma should be used after 'world' for correct punctuation.
Lexical resource
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedArt is considered an appealing way of showcasing national culture to the world.
The revised sentence provides a more natural and accurate expression of the idea.
RevisedIn this regard, focusing on local artworks can yield several benefits.
The revised sentence provides a more precise and effective word choice.
RevisedIn conclusion, while local displays may offer undeniable benefits, dismissing the role of international artworks can be an oversimplification, as they can enhance cultural understanding and facilitate comparisons.
The revised sentence provides a more natural and accurate expression of the idea.
Task response
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task fully and presents a well-developed response with relevant, extended and supported ideas. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places.
Suggestions
- Try to provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Make sure that you fully develop your arguments and explain your ideas in detail.
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