Medical advice online: IELTS Task 2 essay #2, band 7.0

There is an ongoing tendency in usage of the internet to get a medical advice. More and more people started using AI chatbots or some online articles instead of going to see a doctor. While this trend can be attributed to the easier access to the Artificial Intelligence and the financial constraints some people might have, I believe it is the negative development as nothing can replace human in case of medicine yet.

Admittedly, one of the main drivers of this, nowadays, is an AI. The recent introduction of the AI chatbots like Chat GPT and Claude made it possible for people to get a quick answer for their questions, if somebody is suffering from a severe headache, they just prefer to type and ask AI for the fast solution to ease the pain. It is easier for them to type than to get an appointment with an actual doctor. Another example of this is the rising percentage of people who are comforted by Chat GPT, when they were actually depressed. Recent data showed that 24 percent of people preferred AI chatbots over an actual therapist.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedAdmittedly, one of the main current drivers of this trend is the advancement in AI technology.

   The revised sentence provides a clearer and more specific explanation of the current technological context.

2. Lexical resource

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   RevisedThe recent availability of AI chatbots, such as Chat GPT and Claude, has made it possible for people to quickly find answers to their medical questions, such as severe headaches, by simply typing and asking AI.

   The revised sentence is more concise and clear, and it uses more appropriate language for a formal essay.

3. Grammar & accuracy

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   RevisedAnother example is the rising number of people who find comfort in using Chat GPT when they are depressed.

   The revised sentence corrects the awkward and unclear construction of the original sentence.

Another catalyst is the financial burden, where some families cannot afford going to the doctor, because of the prices. One consultation with the professional doctor might cost, much more than they could afford, and this is the consultation alone, apart from the medications that they have to buy on the course of their treatment. Consultations with doctors, who have less qualification, on the other hand, can be risky. There was a case in Tashkent, where a young adult came asking for medications for his flu. After some days his condition worsened because of the pills he took by the receipt of his doctor. Less qualified doctors, lack experience and knowledge on this field to actually treat patients. Thus, compared to them chatbots might be a better alternative.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedAnother significant factor is the financial burden, as many families cannot afford the cost of a doctor's visit.

   The revised sentence provides a more concise and direct statement of the financial barrier to medical care.

I, however, still believe that this development is negative, despite the fact that internet has answers to the billions of cases and chatbots are more reachable and they provide quicker response, they can never replace human EQ. When you visit a professional, they can tell you, by just looking at you, what is the thing that causing you such pain. When you talk about your problem with health, they can show an empathy. Chatbots lack human empathy, additionally, it is hard to find on the internet a reliable source to check on your health. Emotions that the therapist show to their patients is irreplaceable. No AI can imitate, one session with the therapists, because they cannot give the warmth and comfort that a human gives.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedHowever, I maintain that this trend is negative, as the quick and easily accessible answers provided by the internet and chatbots can never replace the essential element of human emotional intelligence (EQ) in healthcare.

   The revised sentence is more concise and clear, and it emphasizes the importance of emotional intelligence in healthcare.

2. Grammar & accuracy

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   RevisedThe emotional support provided by therapists to their patients is irreplaceable.

   The revised sentence corrects the grammatical error in the original sentence.

In conclusion, this development where people use internet, instead of going to see the actual doctors is a negative development, even though the use of AI and financial constraints urge humans to stick with the internet, because it lacks a human EQ and the comfort and reliability that a professional doctor can give.

1. Lexical resource

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   RevisedIn conclusion, the trend of people using the internet instead of visiting doctors is negative, despite the pressures of AI and financial constraints, as it lacks the human empathy and reassurance provided by a professional doctor.

   The revised sentence is more concise and clear, and it uses more appropriate language for a formal essay.

Word count: 492