Medical advice online: IELTS Task 2 essay #1, band 7.0

With the widespread use of the Internet, most individuals are reluctant to make appointments to receive medical advice from doctors. Rather, they simply opt for the Internet due its speed, convenience, and cost. I believe this is mainly a negative development since the Internet’s advice may not be correct all the time, potentially leading people to negative consequences in their health.

The invention of the Internet has become one of the most important breakthroughs in human history, since we use it in many aspects of our lives: education, employment, science, communication, and whatnot. Not only do the Internet mainly help in interaction and accessing information, but it is also a useful tool to medical advice. Unlike healthcare professions, internet chatbots can provide people with instant suggestions in terms of their overall well-being, helping them save their time. ChatGPT, for example, can advice people in almost every illness, whether it is cancer or obesity. Therefore, many people prefer using such chatbots rather than visiting doctors’ offices.

1. Lexical resource

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   RevisedThe invention of the Internet is one of the most important breakthroughs in human history, as it is used in various aspects of our lives, including education, employment, science, and communication.

   The revised sentence is more natural and easier to understand.

2. Lexical resource

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   RevisedUnlike healthcare professionals, internet chatbots can provide people with instant suggestions regarding their overall well-being, thereby helping them save time.

   The revised sentence is more natural and uses the correct form of the word 'regarding'.

What is more, people receive prescriptions at any time and place, even they are in remote areas if they use the Internet, helping them treat independently instead of going to see a doctor. Also, Internet platforms usually do not require any payment for medical advice from users, meaning they serve for free, potentially saving people’s money. These examples can demonstrate why the majority of individuals are dependent on the internet for medical advices, instead of getting it by doctors.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedFurthermore, people can receive prescriptions at any time and place, even in remote areas, if they use the Internet, thereby enabling them to treat themselves independently instead of going to see a doctor.

   The revised sentence is more coherent and easier to understand.

2. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedThese examples demonstrate why many individuals are dependent on the internet for medical advice, rather than seeking it from doctors.

   The revised sentence is more concise and uses the correct form of the word 'advice'.

However, the given medical advice and prescriptions of internet platforms cannot always be proper, as they are not capable of making correct diagnosis yet. For instance, healthcare people usually check patients’ medical condition and provide them with advice through special machines, such as X-ray. By this, doctors can identify people health problems properly and treat them in effective ways. In the case of the Internet, it usually shares medical advice by just a text message, which cannot check and determine people’s health-related issues in a proper way, leaving their health at risk.

1. Lexical resource

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   RevisedOn the other hand, the internet typically provides medical advice in the form of text messages, which are not capable of accurately assessing and addressing health issues, thereby putting people's health at risk.

   The revised sentence is more natural and uses a more formal tone.

In conclusion, it is evident that many people no longer want to receive medical advice by doctors because of Internet’s opportunities: speed, convenience, and price. However, I contend that it is arguably a negative development since it has a toll on people’s health, as the example above suggest.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedIn conclusion, many people prefer to receive medical advice from the internet rather than from doctors due to the speed, convenience, and cost-effectiveness of internet services.

   The revised sentence is more coherent and easier to understand.