Mars as a future home: IELTS Task 2 essay #1, band 6.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
357 words. Marked by Axiom on 18 September 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2357 words
Some researchers believe that Mars should be considered a potential future planet for human habitation and that more money should be invested in research into making this possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
For a potential future planet for human habitation Mars should be considered and more money should be allocated to research into making this possible, some researchers argue. I firmly believe that instead of investing more money in planets, these money could be allocated to other researches, especially global problems and education.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedAlthough Mars may be a potential planet for future human survival, as global warming significantly increases, I believe that these funds should be allocated to other research areas, particularly those addressing global issues and education.
The revised sentence is grammatically correct and the idea is expressed more clearly and concisely.
Mars might be a survivable planet for human habitation because of its similarities with the Earth. Thus, many individuals decided to conduct researches in other alternative planets.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedGlobal warming is becoming a major problem and leading to serious repercussions, such as a shortage of water and hotter weather.
The revised sentence is more concise and uses the appropriate term 'global warming' instead of 'the global warming' which is incorrect in this context.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedEven though Elon Musk is investing in research on Mars, it is less likely to be successful due to the presence of more contagious infections on Mars.
The revised sentence is grammatically correct and more natural sounding.
Instead of spending money on researches of another planet. People should be allocated money to problems which is the Earth is facing lately, particularly global warming, By conducting research, people may access cutting-edge technologies and find new more eco-friendly ways to decrease the global warming.
Lexical resource
RevisedPublic transport and cars were major contributors to global warming. In response, scientists have developed eco-friendly alternatives, such as electric cars, which can help reduce global warming.
The revised sentence is more natural sounding and the term 'electric cars' is used instead of 'eletronic cars' which is incorrect.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThus, instead of allocating money to find an alternative planet for human habitation, we should conduct more research on global problems.
The revised sentence is more direct and clear in stating the idea.
There are numerous countries, which provide young generation with inadeqaute education. India, for example, invests millions, if not billions, in researches of planets, satelities, and rockets, but there are still individuals with low-income jobs and the country has poor education systems. Thus, instead of investing more money in the research, they should be provided young generation with better education systems and people with high-income employment.
Lexical resource
RevisedThis money can also be allocated to improve education.
The revised sentence is grammatically correct and more natural sounding.
In conclusion, although Mars can be considered a potential future planet for human habitation, i completely disagree with spending money on researches because governments and countries may allocate money to researches to prevent the Earht from global warming and provide young generation
with better education.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the overall position.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and clearly state your position.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedGlobal warming is becoming a major problem and leading to serious repercussions, such as a shortage of water and hotter weather.
The revised sentence is more concise and uses the appropriate term 'global warming' instead of 'the global warming' which is incorrect in this context.
RevisedThus, instead of allocating money to find an alternative planet for human habitation, we should conduct more research on global problems.
The revised sentence is more direct and clear in stating the idea.
RevisedIn conclusion, although Mars can be considered a potential future planet for human habitation, I believe that we should focus on preventing global warming and improving education. This will ensure a better future for the current and upcoming generations.
The revised conclusion is more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the overall position.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and a variety of grammatical structures. However, there are several grammatical errors that hinder the overall clarity of the essay. The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar and sentence structure, with only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of incorrect verb tense and subject-verb agreement that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of capital letters and punctuation is not always accurate.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedAlthough Mars may be a potential planet for future human survival, as global warming significantly increases, I believe that these funds should be allocated to other research areas, particularly those addressing global issues and education.
The revised sentence is grammatically correct and the idea is expressed more clearly and concisely.
RevisedEven though Elon Musk is investing in research on Mars, it is less likely to be successful due to the presence of more contagious infections on Mars.
The revised sentence is grammatically correct and more natural sounding.
RevisedThis money could also be allocated to improve education.
The revised sentence is grammatically correct and more natural sounding.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, but there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. For example, "electronic cars" should be "electric cars," and "earht" should be "Earth." Additionally, there are a few instances of awkward phrasing that could be revised for clarity and conciseness.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThis money can also be allocated to improve education.
The revised sentence is grammatically correct and more natural sounding.
RevisedIndia, for example, invests millions, if not billions, in research of planets, satellites, and rockets. Despite this, many individuals still have low-income jobs and the country has poor education systems.
The revised sentence is more natural sounding and easier to understand.
RevisedPublic transport and cars were major contributors to global warming. In response, scientists have developed eco-friendly alternatives, such as electric cars, which can help reduce global warming.
The revised sentence is more natural sounding and the term 'electric cars' is used instead of 'eletronic cars' which is incorrect.
Task response
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the potential of Mars as a future habitat for humans and the implications of this idea. The writer presents a clear stance, arguing that funds should be redirected to address pressing issues on Earth, such as global warming, and to improve education. The argument is well-developed and supported with relevant points, but the essay could benefit from more specific examples and a deeper analysis of the potential challenges and benefits of inhabiting Mars.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Provide a deeper analysis of the potential challenges and benefits of inhabiting Mars.
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