Literacy classes for adults: IELTS Task 2 essay #2, band 7.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
330 words. Marked by Axiom on 8 October 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2330 words
Education for young people is important in many countries. However, some people think that the government should spend more money on education for the adult population who cannot read and write. -- Do you agree or disagree?
Although it has been important to educate young individuals in many parts of the world, there is a view that governing bodies should invest more funding on education of the people who are illiterate. I disagree with this viewpoint since young people can boost the economy of governments as well as they can absorb information more effectively and easily than adults.
In doing so, they will have bright future, potentially increasing governments' economy by working in various employment sectors in the long run.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn today's rapidly advanced world, the widespread use of social media platforms and online learning has provided a potential solution for adults who are incapable of reading and writing, thus reducing the need for government support for their literacy education.
The revised sentence provides a smoother transition between ideas and makes the point more clearly.
Lexical resource
RevisedIn other words, a wide range of tutorials on almost all subjects are available on social media networks, especially on YouTube, allowing these individuals to acquire the necessary skills independently.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward phrasing and improves the clarity of the point being made.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThis underscores the importance of focusing on the education of younger individuals, who are not only more eager to learn but also more likely to master a range of subjects, thus creating ample opportunities for them in areas such as mathematics, literature, and computer science.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more concise explanation of the point being made.
Furthermore, unlike the adult population who could not learn to write and read when they were younger, children and juveniles can absorb information more effectively and implement it into practice. For example, it has been scientifically proven that young individuals aged from 10 to 17 can foreign languages, such as English, Russian and whatnot, thanks to their age and fresh brain.
Lexical resource
RevisedAs for the illiterate, many may be reluctant to improve their literacy skills, as they may not have the desire to be taught by teachers who are younger than themselves, which could make the government's spending on their education seem wasteful.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward phrasing and improves the clarity of the point being made.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn conclusion, the government should prioritize spending on the education of young people over that of adults who are illiterate. This, I believe, is a more effective policy, as the examples above suggest.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more concise conclusion, and the use of the passive voice makes the statement more objective.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and the body paragraphs are well-structured. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIn today's rapidly advanced world, the widespread use of social media platforms and online learning has provided a potential solution for adults who are incapable of reading and writing, thus reducing the need for government support for their literacy education.
The revised sentence provides a smoother transition between ideas and makes the point more clearly.
RevisedThis underscores the importance of focusing on the education of younger individuals, who are not only more eager to learn but also more likely to master a range of subjects, thus creating ample opportunities for them in areas such as mathematics, literature, and computer science.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more concise explanation of the point being made.
RevisedIn conclusion, the government should prioritize spending on the education of young people over that of adults who are illiterate. This, I believe, is a more effective policy, as the examples above suggest.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more concise conclusion, and the use of the passive voice makes the statement more objective.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. The majority of sentences are error-free, and punctuation is well managed. However, there are a few minor errors that could be corrected.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIn other words, there is a wide range of tutorials on almost all subjects, especially on social media networks like YouTube, where individuals can acquire the aforementioned skills independently.
The revised sentence corrects the preposition use to make the point more clearly and effectively.
RevisedOn the other hand, the illiterate may be reluctant to improve their literacy abilities, as many of them may not have the desire to enhance their reading and writing skills with the help of teachers who are younger than them, which could make the government's spending on their education seem wasteful.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward phrasing and improves the clarity of the point being made.
RevisedIn conclusion, the government should prioritize spending on the education of young people over that of adults who are illiterate, as I believe this policy to be more effective, as suggested by the examples above.
The revised sentence corrects the sentence structure to make the point more clearly and effectively.
Lexical resource
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. A variety of vocabulary and idiomatic expressions are used effectively. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIn other words, a wide range of tutorials on almost all subjects are available on social media networks, especially on YouTube, allowing these individuals to acquire the necessary skills independently.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward phrasing and improves the clarity of the point being made.
RevisedAs for the illiterate, many may be reluctant to improve their literacy skills, as they may not have the desire to be taught by teachers who are younger than themselves, which could make the government's spending on their education seem wasteful.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward phrasing and improves the clarity of the point being made.
RevisedIn today's fast-paced world, social media platforms and online learning have become prevalent, offering adults who are unable to read and write the opportunity to acquire literacy skills independently of government support.
The revised sentence improves the word choice to make the point more clearly and effectively.
Task response
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the introduction could be more concise and focused.
Suggestions
- Consider revising the introduction to make your position more clear and to directly address the prompt.
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