Letters, emails and social media: IELTS Task 2 essay #1, band 6.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
313 words. Marked by Axiom on 11 September 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2313 words
In the past, people used to write letters to communicate with friends and relatives, whereas today most people use emails and social media. Is this a positive or negative development?
In the past, people tended to communicate with other people by sending letters but modern technology has introduced emails and social media and people use them in their everyday life.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedAlthough this shift has both advantages and disadvantages, I believe it is largely a positive development for individuals.
The revised sentence is grammatically correct and more natural.
Faster communication systems like social media allow people to keep in touch with long distances with their friends who live far away by sending videos or photos and it can be cheaper and convenient way to share emotions and feelings, in addition to this, emails allow people to send documents and information quickly.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe primary advantages of emails and social media are their speed and convenience.
The revised sentence is grammatically correct and more precise.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedFor example, most workplaces and official organizations commonly use emails to exchange information and send important documents, making it a more efficient option than traditional letters.
The revised sentence is more natural and easier to understand.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOn the other hand, modern technology has introduced certain digital risks, and the use of emails and social media may lead to the loss of some traditional skills.
The revised sentence provides a clearer connection between the ideas.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThe use of digital messages can lead to a decline in handwriting skills, and the younger generations, having no limits on electronic communication, may develop a habit of using informal language and abbreviations, thereby losing interest in formal writing.
The revised sentence is more concise and clear, and the ideas are connected more effectively.
Lexical resource
RevisedConsequently, social media, by reducing face-to-face interactions, may make people more inclined to communicate online, thus reducing their willingness to engage in in-person interactions.
The revised sentence is more natural and easier to understand.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn conclusion, while social media and emails provide superior means of communication, they also have the potential to negatively impact humanity. Overuse could influence the next generation's literacy skills, and addiction to social media could further distort their understanding of life.
The revised sentence is more concise and clear, and the ideas are connected more effectively.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected, but there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant, but the body paragraphs could be more detailed and specific. Transitions between ideas and sentences are generally well-handled, but there are a few instances where they could be improved. The overall structure of the essay is effective, but the organization could be more precise.
Suggestions
- Improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
- Provide more specific examples to support your points.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOn the other hand, modern technology has introduced certain digital risks, and the use of emails and social media may lead to the loss of some traditional skills.
The revised sentence provides a clearer connection between the ideas.
RevisedThe use of digital messages can lead to a decline in handwriting skills, and the younger generations, having no limits on electronic communication, may develop a habit of using informal language and abbreviations, thereby losing interest in formal writing.
The revised sentence is more concise and clear, and the ideas are connected more effectively.
RevisedIn conclusion, while social media and emails provide superior means of communication, they also have the potential to negatively impact humanity. Overuse could influence the next generation's literacy skills, and addiction to social media could further distort their understanding of life.
The revised sentence is more concise and clear, and the ideas are connected more effectively.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence construction. The essay demonstrates a good command of complex sentence structures, with a variety of sentence types used effectively. There are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence construction that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Overall, the grammatical range and accuracy are strong, but minor errors need to be addressed to improve the overall quality of the writing.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedAlthough this shift has both advantages and disadvantages, I believe it is largely a positive development for individuals.
The revised sentence is grammatically correct and more natural.
RevisedFor example, most workplaces and official organizations commonly use emails to exchange information and send important documents, making it a more efficient option than traditional letters.
The revised sentence is more natural and easier to understand.
RevisedIn conclusion, although social media and emails provide better ways to communicate, they can have negative consequences for humanity. Overuse could influence the next generation's literacy skills, and addiction to social media could further impact their understanding of life.
The revised sentence is more natural and easier to understand.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, with appropriate use of academic language. There are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and precision. Overall, the lexical resource is strong, but there is room for improvement in terms of word choice and collocation.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe primary advantages of emails and social media are their speed and convenience.
The revised sentence is grammatically correct and more precise.
RevisedFaster communication systems like social media allow people to stay connected with friends and family living far away by sending videos or photos, providing a cost-effective and convenient way to share emotions and feelings.
The revised sentence is more natural and easier to understand.
RevisedConsequently, social media, by reducing face-to-face interactions, may make people more inclined to communicate online, thus reducing their willingness to engage in in-person interactions.
The revised sentence is more natural and easier to understand.
Task response
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the conclusion could be more effective. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of emails and social media as means of communication. The writer presents a clear position that the development is largely positive for individuals, and provides well-developed arguments to support this view. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the writer's position, but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Consider providing a more comprehensive conclusion that summarizes all the key points made in the essay.
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