Learning by watching TV: IELTS Task 2 essay #2, band 7.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
337 words. Marked by Axiom on 10 September 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2337 words
Some children can learn efficiently by watching TV. Therefore, they should be encouraged to watch TV both at home and at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is a view that only through TV programs can children study effectively and it is crucial to push them towards watching TV both at home and school.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedWhile some people claim that watching TV can lead to certain drawbacks such as increased laziness and poor time-management, I believe that TV programs can significantly enhance their learning outcomes.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more direct statement of the writer's position.
Consequently, this approach may take its tools on children’s physical well-being. A further downside is connected to time-management issues.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedAdmittedly, there are some compelling reasons why some people consider TV programs as detrimental to education, one of which is related to concerns of addiction and procrastination.
The revised sentence provides a clearer connection to the upcoming discussion.
Lexical resource
RevisedIf children are overly inclined to watch television programs as a means of learning, there is a risk of addiction, which may lead to procrastination in their studies.
The revised sentence provides a more natural and clear expression of the idea.
Lexical resource
RevisedWatching TV might consume a significant amount of their time that could be allocated to their studies, potentially causing them to lag behind other students.
The revised sentence provides a more concise and clear expression of the idea.
When children regularly watch educational TV programs under the supervision of their parents, they tend to be pay greater attention to what they are learning since these educational tools seem very interesting and beneficial to children, which facilitates them in retaining information in the long-term memory. Consequently, they can make greater contribution to their future career. Another notable advantage is that watching TV allows them become exposed to a wide range of information and different explanations unlike their typical learning situation.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedDespite these arguments, I believe that TV programs can play a crucial role in enhancing children's learning.
The revised sentence provides a smoother transition to the contrasting viewpoint.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedOne of the primary benefits of this approach is its engaging nature.
The revised sentence provides a more specific and clear reference to the 'approach' being discussed.
Lexical resource
RevisedThis not only broadens their perspectives but also enriches their knowledge, thereby enhancing their academic satisfaction.
The revised sentence provides a more precise and effective use of vocabulary.
Only through TV programs can children make strides in terms of academic performance.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn conclusion, despite the drawbacks such as potential time wastage and the risk of fostering laziness, I believe that utilizing TV as an educational tool is significantly beneficial.
The revised sentence provides a more formal and precise expression of the writer's opinion.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
- Make sure that your ideas are fully developed in each paragraph.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedAdmittedly, there are some compelling reasons why some people consider TV programs as detrimental to education, one of which is related to concerns of addiction and procrastination.
The revised sentence provides a clearer connection to the upcoming discussion.
RevisedDespite these arguments, I believe that TV programs can play a crucial role in enhancing children's learning.
The revised sentence provides a smoother transition to the contrasting viewpoint.
RevisedIn conclusion, despite the drawbacks such as potential time wastage and the risk of fostering laziness, I believe that utilizing TV as an educational tool is significantly beneficial.
The revised sentence provides a more formal and precise expression of the writer's opinion.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay shows a good control of a range of grammatical structures, with only minor errors. However, there are a few sentences that could be rephrased for clarity.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedWhile some people claim that watching TV can lead to certain drawbacks such as increased laziness and poor time-management, I believe that TV programs can significantly enhance their learning outcomes.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more direct statement of the writer's position.
RevisedOne of the primary benefits of this approach is its engaging nature.
The revised sentence provides a more specific and clear reference to the 'approach' being discussed.
RevisedChildren tend to pay more attention to what they are learning when they watch educational TV programs under the supervision of their parents, as these programs are often interesting and beneficial.
The revised sentence provides a more natural and clear expression of the idea.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIf children are overly inclined to watch television programs as a means of learning, there is a risk of addiction, which may lead to procrastination in their studies.
The revised sentence provides a more natural and clear expression of the idea.
RevisedWatching TV might consume a significant amount of their time that could be allocated to their studies, potentially causing them to lag behind other students.
The revised sentence provides a more concise and clear expression of the idea.
RevisedThis not only broadens their perspectives but also enriches their knowledge, thereby enhancing their academic satisfaction.
The revised sentence provides a more precise and effective use of vocabulary.
Task response
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the introduction could be improved to better introduce the topic and the writer's position.
Suggestions
- Consider rephrasing the introduction to provide a clearer and more direct statement of the topic and the writer's position.
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