Impressive or practical buildings: IELTS Task 2 essay #1, band 6.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
240 words. Marked by Axiom on 14 September 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2240 words
"Some argue that public buildings such as museums and galleries should be built primarily to impress and attract visitors, while others believe function and practicality should come first. Discuss both views and give your opinion."
Public buildings like museums and galleries play important role in society. Some people argue they should be designed to impress visitors, while others belive function and practicality are more important.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThis essay will discuss both perspectives before stating my personal viewpoint.
The revision provides a more formal and academic tone.
For example, the Louvre in Paris is not only a place to see art but also a symbol of the city. Moreover, when visitors are impressed by the design, they are more likely to return, which increase economic benefits.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOn the one hand, some individuals believe that museums and galleries should primarily be designed to captivate visitors.
The revision provides a more formal and academic tone.
Lexical resource
RevisedThey posit that aesthetically pleasing architecture can enhance a city's allure and consequently attract more tourists.
The revision provides a more formal and academic tone.
Lexical resource
RevisedSuch structures can instill a sense of pride among residents and contribute to a robust cultural identity.
The revision provides a more formal and academic tone.
For instance, some modern buildings look beautiful outside but inside they have confusing layouts and poor lighting.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOn the other hand, there are those who prioritize the functionality and practicality of these buildings.
The revision provides a more formal and academic tone.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThe primary function of a museum should be to protect and display artworks in a safe manner.
The revision corrects the awkward construction and improves the clarity of the sentence.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedIf the building is overly complex or focuses solely on aesthetics, visitors may struggle to locate the exhibitions.
The revision corrects the awkward construction and improves the clarity of the sentence.
Lexical resource
RevisedFurthermore, allocating excessive funds towards design can deplete the budget for collection maintenance or educational programs, which are crucial for the public good.
The revision provides a more formal and academic tone.
A museum must be useful and safe, and if it is also attractive, that is even better.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedIn conclusion, while I believe that practicality should be the primary consideration, I also acknowledge the importance of design.
The revision provides a more formal and academic tone.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected, but there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant, but the body paragraphs could be more detailed and well-developed.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Ensure that each paragraph is well-developed and fully explores the idea introduced in the topic sentence.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThis essay will discuss both perspectives before stating my personal viewpoint.
The revision provides a more formal and academic tone.
RevisedOn the one hand, some individuals believe that museums and galleries should primarily be designed to captivate visitors.
The revision provides a more formal and academic tone.
RevisedOn the other hand, there are those who prioritize the functionality and practicality of these buildings.
The revision provides a more formal and academic tone.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good control of a range of grammatical structures, with only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence construction.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe primary function of a museum should be to protect and display artworks in a safe manner.
The revision corrects the awkward construction and improves the clarity of the sentence.
RevisedIf the building is overly complex or focuses solely on aesthetics, visitors may struggle to locate the exhibitions.
The revision corrects the awkward construction and improves the clarity of the sentence.
RevisedIn conclusion, while I believe that practicality should be the primary consideration, I also acknowledge the importance of design.
The revision provides a more formal and academic tone.
Lexical resource
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThey posit that aesthetically pleasing architecture can enhance a city's allure and consequently attract more tourists.
The revision provides a more formal and academic tone.
RevisedSuch structures can instill a sense of pride among residents and contribute to a robust cultural identity.
The revision provides a more formal and academic tone.
RevisedFurthermore, allocating excessive funds towards design can deplete the budget for collection maintenance or educational programs, which are crucial for the public good.
The revision provides a more formal and academic tone.
Task response
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. Both sides of the argument are discussed in a balanced way, and the writer's opinion is clearly stated. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments.
Suggestions
- Try to include more specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your writing more concrete and persuasive.
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