Having a first child later: IELTS Task 2 essay #1, band 7.5

There has been a tendency in many countries to have children at an older age. While health-related risks and reduced time together are among the disadvanatages, I believe financial security as well as more developed parenting skills which come with age are more significant than drawbacks.

Having children at an older age might pose health risks for mothers. In the majority of cases, giving birth at 25-30 for example, is much less painful and draining unlike having a first child at 35-40, when a mother’s organism is less robust and may not bear the pain as easily as their younger counterparts’. Ageing can also increse the probability of C-section – the surgery performed by cutting the stomach when a mother cannot naturally give a birth – which further puts mothers’ lives at risk. Furthermore, the processes taking place after birth, such as raising children, spending countless nights without sleeping and breastfeeding also drain the mother’s energy, resulting in health problems like chronic stress, sleep deprivation and fatigue. What they would deal with much with less effort at a younger age, is far more riskier as they age, since their biological clock is ticking.

Another major disadvantage of delaying parenthood is the decreased amount of time they can spend with their offspring. The younger a child is born, the more they get to spend with their parents, meaning they have more moments they have experienced together as one family cicrle compared to those born at later parenthood. A child born in their parents’ twenties is likely to have living grandparents, whose role in upbringing children with right principles cannot be overestimated. A child who witnesses the youth of his or her parents, sees them young and full of energy at their peak age has shared moments which those, born when their parents are older, cannot otherwise experience. Seeing parents age is painful and their death when a person is too young can make them miserable and bitter.

Having said that, delayed parenthood can enusre a financially stable life for children. One of the primary reasons which affect parent’s choice of starting a family at an older age is their careers. Having children is a burden which requires considerable efforts and time, which oterwise could be allocated to sharpening skills necessary for climbing the career ladder. Parents choose the career advancement, and over the years their financial situation might get better provided that they have the knowledge of finance and can channel their financial resources into the right direction. By the time their first child is born, these ambitious parents have already ensured their offspring has access to a conveniently-located and cosy accommodation, high-quality education and physical safety and security. These luxuries cannot be accessbile to youngert parents who are just getting strarted with their careers, and consequently, might not give that much of attention and care to their children.

1. Coherence & cohesion

   Close revision note

   RevisedHowever, delayed parenthood can ensure a financially stable life for children.

   The phrase 'delayed parenthood' is a bit confusing. It would be clearer to say 'delayed parenthood can ensure a financially stable life for children.'

2. Lexical resource

   Close revision note

   RevisedThese luxuries are not accessible to younger parents who are just starting their careers and consequently, they might not be able to give their children the attention and care they need.

   The sentence is a bit long and there are some spelling mistakes. It would be clearer to express the same idea in a more direct way.

Older parents tend to be more mature than younger ones. The older a person gets, the more ups and down they get to experience in their lives, making them more resilient and immune to hardships life can present. This can allow them to raise their children with right moral principles and values, such as patience, integrity and responsibility. Younger parents, due to their inexperience, might not realize the importance of instilling these traits and raise them wrongly. In fact, younger fathers and mothers might be in need of life experiences themselves as they have not lived enough to be able to raise their children properly. Delaying parenthood, therefore, emerges as reasonable, when parents have richer life experience and more developed parenting skills.

1. Coherence & cohesion

   Close revision note

   RevisedOn the other hand, older parents tend to be more mature than younger ones.

   The addition of 'On the other hand' helps to clearly indicate a contrast.

In conclusion, having childrent at on older age might be associated with health issues to mothers and children and limited time spent together, whereas it can also guarantee a more financial life and mature parents for children. In my opinion, taking medical precautions to ensure a mother gives birth safely at an older age, so that a child has a stable life with mature parents is likely to lead to a more fulfilling life for both parents and their offspring.