Credit cards and debt: IELTS Task 2 essay #2, band 7.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
340 words. Marked by Axiom on 18 September 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2340 words
In many countries, it is very easy to apply for and be given a credit card. However, this causes some people to have problems with debts they cannot pay back. Do you think the advantages of credit cards outweigh the disadvantages?
In recent years, it has become increasingly easy for people to be provided with credit cards. While this can have several financial benefits, I believe the long-term drawbacks, such as high risk of mental issues, outweigh the advantages.
However, when they have credit cards, they can request a loan from banks or other financial institutions which can help them to cover their needs and maintain financial stability. As a result, people can borrow enough money and use it effectively to meet their needs, thereby becoming less dependent on informal or illegal lenders.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedAdmittedly, one of the clear benefits of having credit cards is the immediate access to money that they provide.
This revision provides a clearer and more direct statement of the credit card benefit.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedMany people, especially the younger generation, struggle to cover their expenses due to unstable incomes and high prices, from a financial perspective.
This revision provides a more natural and clear expression of the idea.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedFor example, in my country, Uzbekistan, many banks provide credit card users with various types of loans based on their financial status and income level.
This revision provides a more natural and clear expression of the idea.
Students, for example, usually do not have any passive income and cannot work properly due to their tight schedules and educational requirements, opt for getting loans from banks and struggle to repay their debts and turn to working.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedNoting these benefits, I will now address the more significant concern of the long-term consequences.
This revision improves the transition to the counter-argument, making the connection between the two parts of the essay clearer.
Lexical resource
RevisedIf people take out loans from different banks, they may struggle to repay their debts, which often involve additional fees based on the amount borrowed.
This revision provides a more clear and concise explanation of the financial struggle associated with multiple loans.
Lexical resource
RevisedHowever, in order to earn more and repay their debts on time, people often push themselves to the limits, working extra hours or taking on additional jobs.
This revision provides a more natural and concise expression of the idea.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedConsequently, this can strain their overall well-being, leading to mental exhaustion and a potential decline in quality of life.
This revision provides a more accurate and clear expression of the idea.
Lexical resource
RevisedThis can ultimately reduce their academic productivity and lead to mental exhaustion.
This revision provides a more accurate and formal expression of the idea.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn conclusion, while credit cards provide immediate access to funds and can help meet financial needs, I am firmly convinced that the potential long-term issues, including an increased risk of mental health challenges, outweigh the benefits.
This revision provides a more formal and effective conclusion, summarizing the key points of the argument and restating the position.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are clearly structured. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points of your argument.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedAdmittedly, one of the clear benefits of having credit cards is the immediate access to money that they provide.
This revision provides a clearer and more direct statement of the credit card benefit.
RevisedNoting these benefits, I will now address the more significant concern of the long-term consequences.
This revision improves the transition to the counter-argument, making the connection between the two parts of the essay clearer.
RevisedIn conclusion, while credit cards provide immediate access to funds and can help meet financial needs, I am firmly convinced that the potential long-term issues, including an increased risk of mental health challenges, outweigh the benefits.
This revision provides a more formal and effective conclusion, summarizing the key points of the argument and restating the position.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. The majority of sentences are free of grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence construction.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedMany people, especially the younger generation, struggle to cover their expenses due to unstable incomes and high prices, from a financial perspective.
This revision provides a more natural and clear expression of the idea.
RevisedFor example, in my country, Uzbekistan, many banks provide credit card users with various types of loans based on their financial status and income level.
This revision provides a more natural and clear expression of the idea.
RevisedConsequently, this can strain their overall well-being, leading to mental exhaustion and a potential decline in quality of life.
This revision provides a more accurate and clear expression of the idea.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical resource. A variety of vocabulary is used effectively and accurately. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIf people take out loans from different banks, they may struggle to repay their debts, which often involve additional fees based on the amount borrowed.
This revision provides a more clear and concise explanation of the financial struggle associated with multiple loans.
RevisedHowever, in order to earn more and repay their debts on time, people often push themselves to the limits, working extra hours or taking on additional jobs.
This revision provides a more natural and concise expression of the idea.
RevisedThis can ultimately reduce their academic productivity and lead to mental exhaustion.
This revision provides a more accurate and formal expression of the idea.
Task response
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the introduction could be improved to more effectively introduce the topic and the writer's position.
Suggestions
- Consider revising the introduction to more effectively introduce the topic and the writer's position.
- Ensure that the conclusion effectively summarizes the key points of the argument.
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