Credit cards and debt: IELTS Task 2 essay #1, band 6.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
256 words. Marked by Axiom on 18 September 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2256 words
In many countries, it is very easy to apply for and be given a credit card. However, this causes some people to have problems with debts they cannot pay back. Do you think the advantages of credit cards outweigh the disadvantages?
Lexical resource
RevisedIn recent years, it has become increasingly common for individuals to borrow money from banks in most countries.
The word 'notions' is not the most appropriate choice in this context.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedHowever, people may struggle to pay back because of debts.
The original sentence is a double negative and is therefore not grammatically correct.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedI argue that the disadvantages of credit cards outweigh the advantages.
The word 'contend' is not the most appropriate choice in this context.
If people have easy access to apply for and be given a credit card instead of waiting their salaries, they become financially independent and have enough money, which may enable to run their own business thanks to financial support. Consequently, they might contribute more actively to a country’s economy, reducing poor population of the society. A person, for example, who borrows money from a bank, can spend on real-life problems such as severe surgery or the high bills of the apartment when he or she receive a late salary.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOn the one hand, credit cards can provide significant benefits, including mutual advantages for both individuals and governments.
The original sentence is a bit confusing and the use of cohesive devices is not very clear.
Lexical resource
RevisedAnother major advantage is that it allows individuals to prepare for unexpected financial emergencies.
The original sentence is awkward and the phrasing is not clear.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOn the other hand, I would argue that the use of credit cards can cause more severe problems.
The original sentence is a bit confusing and the use of cohesive devices is not very clear.
Lexical resource
RevisedOne of the primary disadvantages is the potential for financial problems.
The original sentence is too general and does not provide enough information.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedWhen it is time to pay back, people are more likely to have difficulties due to the increased percentage of debt owed on a monthly basis.
The original sentence is grammatically incorrect and the phrasing is not clear.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn conclusion, while credit cards may bring some advantages such as positive contributions to the economy and convenience for unexpected emergencies, I remain convinced that they can cause a number of issues, including financial hardships and risks for the government.
The original sentence is a bit confusing and the use of cohesive devices is not very clear.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the argument difficult to follow. Additionally, there are some issues with coherence, as the connection between ideas is not always clear. More effective use of cohesive devices and a clearer connection between ideas would improve the overall cohesion of the essay.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure the use of cohesive devices is accurate and appropriate.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOn the one hand, credit cards can provide significant benefits, including mutual advantages for both individuals and governments.
The original sentence is a bit confusing and the use of cohesive devices is not very clear.
RevisedOn the other hand, I would argue that the use of credit cards can cause more severe problems.
The original sentence is a bit confusing and the use of cohesive devices is not very clear.
RevisedIn conclusion, while credit cards may bring some advantages such as positive contributions to the economy and convenience for unexpected emergencies, I remain convinced that they can cause a number of issues, including financial hardships and risks for the government.
The original sentence is a bit confusing and the use of cohesive devices is not very clear.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a variety of complex structures and there is a good range of sentence structures. However, there are some grammatical errors and inaccuracies. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of grammatical structures, with some errors and inaccuracies. More varied and complex sentence structures would improve the overall quality of the essay. Additionally, the use of more formal language is recommended.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedHowever, people may struggle to pay back because of debts.
The original sentence is a double negative and is therefore not grammatically correct.
RevisedI argue that the disadvantages of credit cards outweigh the advantages.
The word 'contend' is not the most appropriate choice in this context.
RevisedWhen it is time to pay back, people are more likely to have difficulties due to the increased percentage of debt owed on a monthly basis.
The original sentence is grammatically incorrect and the phrasing is not clear.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of a flexible use of vocabulary. However, there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrases. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some inaccuracies and awkward phrases. More precise and varied vocabulary would improve the overall quality of the essay. Additionally, the use of more formal language is recommended.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIn recent years, it has become increasingly common for individuals to borrow money from banks in most countries.
The word 'notions' is not the most appropriate choice in this context.
RevisedAnother major advantage is that it allows individuals to prepare for unexpected financial emergencies.
The original sentence is awkward and the phrasing is not clear.
RevisedOne of the primary disadvantages is the potential for financial problems.
The original sentence is too general and does not provide enough information.
Task response
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay addresses the task effectively and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay could benefit from more specific examples and a deeper analysis of the implications of credit card use. Additionally, the conclusion could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support the argument.
- Provide a deeper analysis of the implications of credit card use.
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