Tourism in developing countries: IELTS Task 2 essay #2, band 8.0

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

358 words. Marked by Axiom on 16 October 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

Task 2358 words

An increasing number of developing countries are expanding their tourist industry. Why do you think this is the case? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, an increasing number of developing countries are investing in their tourist industry. This is mainly because tourism can bring economic benefits and create more job opportunities for local people. In my opinion, this is a positive development, although there are some disadvantages that should be considered.

Lexical resource
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RevisedThis is primarily due to the fact that tourism can stimulate the economy and generate employment for the local populace.
The revised sentence uses a wider range of vocabulary to express the same idea.

One of the main reasons why developing countries are expanding tourism is to improve their economy. Many of these countries have beautiful natural landscapes, historical places and unique cultures which attracts tourists from all over the world. By promoting these places, governments can earn more money from foreign visitors. For example, tourists spend money on hotels, restaurants, transportation and souvenirs, which helps local businesses to grow. Another reason is that tourism creates employment opportunities, especially for young people who may struggle to find a job in other industries. As a result, the living standards of some local families can improve.

Coherence & cohesion
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RevisedThe primary motivation behind the tourism expansion in developing countries is to bolster their economies.
The revised sentence is more concise and formal.
Lexical resource
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RevisedAdditionally, tourism can serve as a source of employment, particularly for young individuals who may find it challenging to secure work in other sectors.
The revised sentence uses a wider range of vocabulary to express the same idea.

I believe that the expansion of tourism is mostly a positive development. Firstly, it encourages the government to improve infrastructure, such as roads, airports and public transport, which can also benefit local residents. Moreover, tourists from different countries can learn about the traditions and lifestyles of the local population. This can help countries become more internationally recognised and create a better understanding between different cultures. For instance, Uzbekistan has many historical cities such as Samarkand and Bukhara, and attracting more tourists can help preserve these places while also supporting the economy.

Grammar & accuracy
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RevisedFurthermore, visitors from diverse backgrounds can familiarize themselves with the traditions and lifestyles of the local people.
The revised sentence is more formal and academic in tone.
Grammar & accuracy
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RevisedThis can enhance the global recognition of countries and foster a better cross-cultural understanding.
The revised sentence is more formal and academic in tone.

However, tourism can also cause certain problems. If too many visitors come to one place, it may lead to pollution, overcrowding and damage to historical sites. In addition, some businesses may increase their prices because of the growing demand, making everyday life more expensive for local people. Despite these issues, I think these problems can be reduced if governments manage the industry properly and introduce suitable regulations.

Coherence & cohesion
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RevisedOn the other hand, tourism can also present some challenges.
The revised sentence provides a more formal and academic tone.
Lexical resource
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RevisedDespite these concerns, I believe that the negative impacts of tourism can be mitigated if governments effectively manage the industry and implement appropriate regulations.
The revised sentence uses a wider range of vocabulary to express the same idea.

In conclusion, developing countries are expanding their tourist industries mainly to increase national income and create employment. Although tourism can have some negative effects on the environment and local communities, I consider it a positive development because its economic and social benefits are more significant when it is managed in a responsible way

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedTo sum up, the primary reason behind the expansion of tourist industries in developing countries is to boost national income and create more job opportunities.
The revised sentence is more formal and academic, and it provides a clear summary of the essay.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 8.0/ 9

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. The essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, which helps maintain a good flow of information and makes the essay easy to follow. The use of transition words and phrases ("One of the main reasons," "Moreover," "However," "In conclusion") effectively links ideas and paragraphs together, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay.

Suggestions

Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
Ensure that your arguments are fully developed and explained.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedThe primary motivation behind the tourism expansion in developing countries is to bolster their economies.
The revised sentence is more concise and formal.
RevisedOn the other hand, tourism can also present some challenges.
The revised sentence provides a more formal and academic tone.
RevisedTo sum up, the primary reason behind the expansion of tourist industries in developing countries is to boost national income and create more job opportunities.
The revised sentence is more formal and academic, and it provides a clear summary of the essay.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 8.0/ 9

The essay shows a good control of a range of grammatical structures, with only minor errors. The essay shows a good control of a variety of grammatical structures. The writer uses a range of sentence types effectively, from simple to complex, which helps to maintain the reader's interest. The essay is also free of significant grammatical errors, which contributes to its overall clarity and professionalism.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedOne of the main reasons for the tourism expansion in developing countries is to enhance their economies.
The revised sentence has a more appropriate preposition and is more concise.
RevisedFurthermore, visitors from diverse backgrounds can familiarize themselves with the traditions and lifestyles of the local people.
The revised sentence is more formal and academic in tone.
RevisedThis can enhance the global recognition of countries and foster a better cross-cultural understanding.
The revised sentence is more formal and academic in tone.

Lexical resource

Band 8.0/ 9

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. The writer demonstrates a good control of a variety of sentence structures. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with appropriate use of academic language. The writer uses a variety of expressions and idiomatic language to convey their ideas ("promoting," "earn more money," "living standards," "internationally recognised"). The essay is also free of significant lexical errors, which contributes to its overall clarity and professionalism.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedThis is primarily due to the fact that tourism can stimulate the economy and generate employment for the local populace.
The revised sentence uses a wider range of vocabulary to express the same idea.
RevisedAdditionally, tourism can serve as a source of employment, particularly for young individuals who may find it challenging to secure work in other sectors.
The revised sentence uses a wider range of vocabulary to express the same idea.
RevisedDespite these concerns, I believe that the negative impacts of tourism can be mitigated if governments effectively manage the industry and implement appropriate regulations.
The revised sentence uses a wider range of vocabulary to express the same idea.

Task response

Band 8.0/ 9

The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout the response. The writer's position is supported with relevant examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons behind the tourism industry expansion in developing countries and evaluating whether it is a positive or negative development. The writer presents a clear position that the expansion is beneficial, supporting it with relevant examples and explanations. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the writer's stance on the issue.

Suggestions

Ensure that you fully develop all of your arguments and provide detailed explanations and examples.
Consider addressing potential counterarguments to provide a more balanced view.

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