Too few science students: IELTS Task 2 essay #2, band 6.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
215 words. Marked by Axiom on 19 September 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2215 words
In many countries too few students choose to study science subjects. What causes this and what effects might it have on society
Nowadays, in many countries, not many
students choose to study science
subjects at school or university. This
situation has a few main reasons and it
can lead to negative effects on society.
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Firstly, science subjects like physics,
chemistry, and mathematics are often
considered very difficult. Students feel
that they need to work too hard and
memorize many formulas. Secondly,
many people believe that studying
business, technology, or law offers
better job opportunities and higher
salaries. Because of these reasons,
young people prefer easier or more
profitable courses instead of science.
The most important effect is a shortage of scientists doctor end engeers. If a country does not have enough exsperts in these areas, it will be hard to develop new technology or build modern infrastructure. As a result the progress of the whole society may slow down.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedHowever, this trend can potentially pose serious problems for society in the future.
The revision provides a more formal and academic tone.
Lexical resource
RevisedFurthermore, a lack of sufficient scientific research can make it more challenging to find cures for diseases or address environmental issues such as climate change.
The revision provides a more precise and formal expression.
However this choice can lead to lack of specialists and slow down economic growth.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn conclusion, the main reasons students avoid science subjects are the perceived difficulty and the belief that other fields offer more rewarding opportunities.
The revision provides a clearer and more formal conclusion.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedTo address this, schools should strive to make science lessons more practical and engaging.
The revision provides a more accurate and formal expression.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the flow of ideas and the use of linking words. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the main points well, but the connection between different ideas could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. Clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve the overall readability.
Suggestions
- Use a wider range of linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
- Make sure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThere are several key reasons for this situation, and it can potentially have negative effects on society.
The revision provides a smoother transition and more formal language.
RevisedHowever, this trend can potentially pose serious problems for society in the future.
The revision provides a more formal and academic tone.
RevisedIn conclusion, the main reasons students avoid science subjects are the perceived difficulty and the belief that other fields offer more rewarding opportunities.
The revision provides a clearer and more formal conclusion.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are some grammatical errors and inaccuracies. The essay contains several grammatical errors that affect the clarity and readability of the writing. These include issues with punctuation, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. For example, "this trends" should be "this trend," and "finding cures for diseases or solving environmental problems such as climate change become much more difficult" should be "becomes much more difficult." Paying closer attention to grammatical accuracy, including correct verb forms and preposition usage, will improve the overall quality of the writing. Additionally, ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will enhance the overall readability of the essay.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedStudents often find science subjects, such as physics, chemistry, and mathematics, to be very demanding, requiring extensive memorization of formulas.
The revision provides a more accurate and formal expression.
RevisedConsequently, young people tend to opt for courses that are perceived to be easier or more financially rewarding, as opposed to science subjects.
The revision provides a more accurate and formal expression.
RevisedTo address this, schools should strive to make science lessons more practical and engaging.
The revision provides a more accurate and formal expression.
Lexical resource
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies and informal expressions. The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there are some instances of awkward phrasing and incorrect word choices. For example, "this trends" should be "this trend," and "exsperts" should be "experts." Improving the precision and formality of the language will enhance the overall clarity and professionalism of the essay. Additionally, ensuring correct spelling and grammar usage will improve the overall quality of the writing.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThere are several underlying reasons for this situation, and it can potentially impact society in negative ways.
The revision provides a more precise and formal expression.
RevisedSecondly, many individuals are of the belief that pursuing studies in business, technology, or law fields can lead to better job prospects and higher earnings.
The revision provides a more formal and academic expression.
RevisedFurthermore, a lack of sufficient scientific research can make it more challenging to find cures for diseases or address environmental issues such as climate change.
The revision provides a more precise and formal expression.
Task response
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons behind the decline in students choosing science subjects and the potential effects on society. The writer presents a clear explanation of the factors contributing to this trend and the possible implications. The argument is well-developed and supported with relevant points. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive. The essay provides a clear and relevant response to the prompt. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive. The essay provides a clear and relevant response to the prompt. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single point.
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