Crime reporting in the media: IELTS Task 2 essay #1, band 7.5

There is a view that detailed accounts of criminal activities should be prohibited in the media, as they entail consequences. I personally agree with this statement for many reasons, taking into account that it can indeed raise people’s awareness though.

One positive side of reporting of detailed information on crime in the news can be beneficial to alert society to the such events occurring in their neighborhood. When individuals receive comprehensive details regarding crime scenes, they can be later capable of detecting a potential danger surrounded, and preventing themselves from any kind of negative consequences by crime. These abilities are crucial for ensuring public safety, especially due to the rise in crime rates. Cyberattacks, one of the most common crime activities worldwide among offenders, can be a pertinent example to this context. Thanks to reports on social media, and news published in newspapers people are now more aware of such activities. Thus, they can impose some complex passwords on their mobile devices in order to secure their personal data.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedOne benefit of detailed crime reporting in the news is that it can help alert society to such events occurring in their neighborhood.

   The revised sentence is more concise and clear.

2. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedThese abilities are crucial for ensuring public safety, especially given the rise in crime rates.

   The revised sentence is more coherent and the phrasing is more natural.

3. Lexical resource

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   RevisedCyberattacks, one of the most common types of crime worldwide, is a relevant example in this context.

   The revised sentence is more natural and easier to understand.

4. Lexical resource

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   RevisedThanks to reports on social media and newspapers, people are now more aware of such activities.

   The revised sentence is more natural and the phrasing is more concise.

However, I believe that the negative effects of detailed crime reporting are more significant. Governments should impose strict regulations on publishing detailed accounts of illegal activities. By accessing such information, potential criminals can be engaged in lawbreaking. They may imitate or even commit despicable crime activities based on what they have seen or heard in the mass media. Increased panic and anxiety among public are another concerning reasons for restricting detailed reports in media. If people are repeatedly exposed to explicit depictions of criminal activity, they may lose their compassion for those around them and even their trust.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedIncreased panic and anxiety among the public are another cause for restricting detailed reports in the media.

   The revised sentence is more grammatically accurate and the phrasing is more natural.

2. Grammar & accuracy

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   RevisedIf people are repeatedly exposed to explicit depictions of criminal activity, they may lose their compassion for others and even their trust in them.

   The revised sentence corrects the awkward repetition and improves the clarity of the sentence.

In conclusion, although thorough explanations of illegal activities in the media can increase people’s awareness, their negative effects on society should not be neglected and strict regulations must be implemented to address potential threat.

1. Grammar & accuracy

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   RevisedIn conclusion, although detailed explanations of illegal activities in the media can increase people’s awareness, the negative effects on society should not be neglected and strict regulations must be implemented to address potential threats.

   The revised sentence corrects the singular/plural disagreement and improves the clarity of the sentence.