Tea and coffee imports: IELTS Task 1 answer #1, band 7.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
162 words. Marked by Axiom on 1 November 2024. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The bar chart this answer describes
Show the data
| Coffee | Tea | |
|---|---|---|
| Canada | 80,000 | 20,000 |
| UK | 20,000 | 160,000 |
| USA | 40,000 | 120,000 |
| Germany | 50,000 | 40,000 |
Academic Task 1162 words
The graph below shows the amount of tea and coffee imported by four different countries in tonnes in 2007.
The provided graph illustrates some data about the amount of imported tea and coffee by four different countries in 2007.
However, in Germany and Canada, coffee was the most popular beverage in the period of the question.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOverall, the graph reveals that residents of the UK and the USA predominantly preferred tea over coffee.
The revision provides a clearer connection to the data presented.
Lexical resource
RevisedIn the UK, tea imports reached the highest figure at 160,000 tonnes, which was eight times the amount of coffee imported.
The revision uses more precise vocabulary and corrects numerical formatting.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn the USA, tea imports amounted to 120,000 tonnes, which was three times higher than coffee imports at 40,000 tonnes in 2007.
The revised sentence improves clarity and structure.
Lexical resource
RevisedIn Canada, tea imports were significantly lower than coffee imports, at 20,000 and 80,000 tonnes respectively.
The revision provides clearer expression and corrects numerical formatting.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn Germany, which had the lowest imports of both tea and coffee, tea imports were nearly as significant as coffee imports, with 40,000 and 50,000 tonnes respectively.
The revision enhances clarity and coherence.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is generally well-organized with a clear overview and logical progression. However, there are some areas where cohesion could be improved.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to enhance flow.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOverall, the graph reveals that residents of the UK and the USA predominantly preferred tea over coffee.
The revision provides a clearer connection to the data presented.
RevisedIn the USA, tea imports amounted to 120,000 tonnes, which was three times higher than coffee imports at 40,000 tonnes in 2007.
The revised sentence improves clarity and structure.
RevisedIn Germany, which had the lowest imports of both tea and coffee, tea imports were nearly as significant as coffee imports, with 40,000 and 50,000 tonnes respectively.
The revision enhances clarity and coherence.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay shows a good range of grammatical structures with minor errors. Sentences are mostly accurate.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOverall, it is evident that residents of the UK and the USA predominantly preferred tea over coffee.
The revision corrects a minor grammatical issue and improves sentence structure.
RevisedIn the USA, tea imports amounted to 120,000 tonnes, which was three times higher than coffee imports at 40,000 tonnes in 2007.
The revision corrects numerical formatting and improves clarity.
RevisedIn Germany, which had the lowest imports of both tea and coffee, tea imports were nearly as significant as coffee imports, with 40,000 and 50,000 tonnes respectively.
The revision corrects grammatical structure and improves clarity.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary with some variety in word choice. However, some expressions could be more precise.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOverall, it is evident that residents of the UK and the USA predominantly preferred tea over coffee.
'Evident' is a more precise word choice than 'undeniable' in this context.
RevisedIn the UK, tea imports reached the highest figure at 160,000 tonnes, which was eight times the amount of coffee imported.
The revision uses more precise vocabulary and corrects numerical formatting.
RevisedIn Canada, tea imports were significantly lower than coffee imports, at 20,000 and 80,000 tonnes respectively.
The revision provides clearer expression and corrects numerical formatting.
Task achievement
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay accurately describes the graph and provides relevant comparisons. It effectively summarizes key information.
Suggestions
- Ensure all numerical data is accurately presented.
- Clarify comparisons between countries.
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